Single or Self-Partnered?

Earlier this week in a interview Emma Watson spoke about her true feelings around turning 30 and still being single, she opened up about how it took a long time to understand and be truly happy on her own, but that she refers to it as being “self-partnered”.

You could almost hear the backlash before it even started.

A few papers and readers mocked the term, believing that it doesn’t sound right or that it’s not needed when the use of ‘single’ is fine. What Emma was trying to avoid was the questions that inevitably come after saying you’re single – how’s dating life going, have you got a potential partner or what’s it like being single? She took control by naming herself self-partnered, showing that it isn’t something that she’s actively looking to change but that, in fact, she’s perfectly happy on her own.

One person’s use of a term, doesn’t mean that everyone has to start using it. If you prefer to use ‘single’, that’s perfectly fine, but if you agree with Emma and like her new term, that’s perfectly fine too. It doesn’t mean that PC is out to change everything or there’ll be backlash if you refer to someone as single. It’s purely one woman’s way of viewing her current position in life – it’s really not that deep.

One thing that I did notice which is particularly interesting, is that no matter which side of the single or self-partnered ‘debate’ people found themselves on – there was one element they could all agree on. The fact that the old stigma around being single when you’re turning 30 – or any age for that matter – and not being married or having kids, means that you’re unsuccessful or missing something in life. And that needs to change.

It’s another part in the revolutionary move towards celebrating single life, being happy on your own and ignoring any societal pressures to be in a relationship. It’s about time the old-fashioned stigmas and stereotypes of the ‘Bridget Jones’-esque women were put to bed. I’m thankful for people like Emma Watson or Lizzo who are encouraging women to have that self-love and confidence in themselves to know that they don’t need a partner to feel completed.

I don’t know if I’d ever use the term “self-partnered” but I do know that I don’t really care if others choose to or not.

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